Big Weddings & Marital Bliss

Expert I am not, I just know what has worked for us.

A hugely expensive wedding was never my style. And when my father passed away suddenly just as Shane and I were planning to announce a wedding, the fact that my dad would not walk me down the aisle furthered my resolve to keep it simple

My husband and I were wed in my mother’s backyard in a perfect and unpretentious ceremony. Later this year, we will celebrate 28 years.

We have a long way yet to go.

To be sure we had found the right mate, there were a few guidelines we discussed while dating. These have kept us tightly knit, so here they are, in case you are interested.

Our rules:

Be kind

Common courtesy should not be reserved exclusively for acquaintances, friends and strangers. Yes, after all this time, we still say thank you, please, excuse me, and we help each other. All with a smile (well, most of the time).

Go to bed together

Obviously, faithfulness is essential to marital harmony. But more than that, when one retires to bed, the other is close behind. I am not sure who told us that so many years ago, but it helps keep us on the same track.

Be honest

You are (or should be) marrying your best friend. How can a friendship thrive if even little lies are part of the mix? Furthermore, accept the truth when the other expresses it. Work it out. It may not always be easy, but it is what you signed up for.

Common faith

Shane and I believe in Jesus and the principles of the Bible. Our vows were written by us using scripture we believed to be solid words of wisdom.

Never talk badly about the other or gossip about each other to our friends

A marriage is tough enough to protect without dragging your friends’ opinions into it. Just do not do it. Or stop if you have already started.

Show love for one another through your commitment

To the newlywed, the honeymoon high of love seems unending. Remember, when real life hits you in the face, this person you marry deserves all of your love, respect and commitment.

I choose to frequently remind myself of the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23): “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control; against such thing there is no law.” If I focus on keeping these gifts in my personal life, my spouse will benefit immensely.

Extravagant weddings do not equal marital bliss. This is not to say a bride should not tailor-make her day. Mine was almost perfectly what I had always wanted. Only thing missing was my dad.

My father-in-law to-be instructed, “This is the only wedding you are ever going to have. Make it everything you want it to be.” He was right. I had chosen my man and did not intend to ever have another.

But I also knew the ceremony was just the beginning, not the climax. Shane and I had a lot to learn about one another. By stubbornly refusing the accept the world’s flippant view of marriage, our friendship has deepened to a level we could have never comprehended. We work hard to make it last.

We hope you enjoy seeing a glimpse of the beautiful weddings within this issue. The sanctity of marriage is a precious gift. Blessings to the brides and grooms in this issue of Validity and to those to be wed in the coming year. May you find joy in 2015.

To see Validity’s first bridal issue, please visit

About Becky Jane Newbold

Becky Jane Newbold thrives on new experiences and is always on the lookout for new stories to tell. Whether she is riding her motorcycle, photographing wildlife attracted to her garden, creating original works of art or enjoying home-cooked meals with her family, Becky Jane’s passion is staying current with fresh, innovative ideas. Raised in the newspaper industry, she is committed to truth in media. See more at

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