The Towel

Unappreciated and unobtrusive, towels, large and small rectangles of soft cotton, play humble, significant roles in our existence.  If it’s not cotton, however, then it cannot be called a towel.  My opinion, but the truth nevertheless.

Interestingly, no good synonyms exist for the word “towel.”  Forgive the redundancy of the term throughout this article.

How many times have I thrown in the towel?  Symbolically, of course.  I have never actually thrown one.  But, I am an expert quitter.  If it ain’t working, let it go.  However, there is good reason to see things through.  My dear wife works diligently at reaching difficult goals.  And I have learned that lesson well from her.  Throwing in the towel is a concept she has gleaned from me.  A good balance of knowing when to stay in or get out can be a blessing

Allow me to continue to explore more noble notions of the common towels inhabiting your closets.

According to the Gospel Of John, chapter 13:5, “Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.” (NASB)

Gosh, if a towel is mentioned in the New Testament, then who are you or I to question Jesus and his girded stuff?

How wondrous the memories in making when the grandbabies with blue, shivering lips scamper up the bank of the icy creek.  Mimi Jane and Papa wrap them in the big, soft towels just long enough to gulp a few bites of watermelon and get their blood flowing so they can jump back in.  Swimming almost always trumps “it’s too cold.”

In my possession is the mother of all towels.  I shall fight to the death to keep it.  I worship it.  I fear not the sin of idolatry set before my creator who can and probably will sentence me to eternal punishment.

And you ask, “What towel possibly could cause such extremism in an individual?”

Behold, the Snap-on towel!

My audacious wife asked the same questions you probably have:

“Are you crazy? Actually that really wasn’t a question. It was more like, ‘you are weirdly insane.’

What is so special about a Snap-on towel?

I actually don’t care or want to know, but you are going to tell me anyway, aren’t you?”

Firstly, it is pertinent to understand that the obtainability of the moderately unobtainable from the obtainer to the current obtainee for the pleasurable obtainment of the obtainee should not be questioned with regard to the legality of said obtention as to how the  obtainee obtained the moderately unobtainable from the original obtainer.  I really, really wanted it, so I manipulated it from my son-in-law through my daughter because he wasn’t around to stop me.

Anyway, why is it so special?  Snap-on makes the best tools and they are pricey.  Everyone knows that.  And no, this is not an ad or paid endorsement.  But I’ll take the money if they send it.

Snap-on marketing products are also typically high quality.  The towel is no exception.  The wife quickly changed her negative opinion when she felt the softness against her face.

Plus, it has cool stuff on it:  “Snap-on Tough Tools” with a fist grasping a 19mm ratcheting wrench.  Yep, bona fide OFFICIAL LICENSED PRODUCT made in El Salvador (wherever the hell that is).  Oh, I forgot.  We sent the textile industry out of the states a while back.  Silly me.

But, it is mine.  The obtainee is now the obtainer.

Don’t ask to borrow it, unless you are good at handling rejection.

Lest you take the lowly towel for granted, repeat as needed:  The towel is my friend, the towel is my friend, the towel is my friend.

About Shane Newbold

Father to four and best friend to Becky Jane for 26 years, Shane Newbold lives life to the fullest birdwatching, fishing, boating and enjoying his family.

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